


I Can't Live Without You (Sequel)

by 4LiberTEA



Series: I Can't Live Without You [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abandonment, Additional Warnings Apply, Alcohol, Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Bokuaka - Freeform, Boyfriends, Childhood Memories, Coming Back, Coming Out, Depressed Kozume Kenma, Depression, Disappearance, Disapproving Family, Domestic, Drugs, Family Issues, Forgiveness, Friendship, Frustration, Graduation, Growth, Heartbreak, Heartwarming, Heartwrenching, High School, Homophobia, Identity, Internal Conflict, Jealousy, KuroKen - Freeform, LGBTQ Themes, Living Together, M/M, Making Up, Mental Breakdown, Mistakes, Nekoma, New Beginnings, Outbursts, Pressure, Sad, Self-Harm, Sensitive subjects, Separations, Sequel, Soul-Searching, Summer Vacation, Therapy, Tokyo (City), Triggers, True Love, Uncertainty, Understanding, University, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Yaoi, toxic, unsupportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4LiberTEA/pseuds/4LiberTEA
Summary: After going out for more than a year and a half, and actually living together for six months, the couple Kuroo and Kenma decide to come out to their parents. They invite both families over to announce the big news, and await their reactions anxiously.Unfortunately for the lovebirds, their parents are against their relationship and separate them by force. Kenma becomes more depressive than ever and no one has heard of Kuroo for a long while.Will the couple reunite? Under what circumstances ? How can the lovers live with such cruel rules?This is the continuation to my first KuroKen fic "I Can't Live Without You". If you haven't read it yet I strongly suggest you do to better understand what happened. Although it shouldn't be too complicated to connect the dots so the choice is yours.Warning : self harm, depression, drugs, triggers, sensitive subjects
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: I Can't Live Without You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783543
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

On one busy afternoon, the high school students of Nekoma were scurrying about, readying themselves for the seniors' graduation. Months of preparation lead to this final day where all the young spirits could finally discover the world through their own eyes after the grand ceremony.

A certain boy amongst the others stood silently on the side of the stage, waiting for his class to be called up and receive his diploma. He blocked out the noisy parents and students with the comforting sound of his Nintendo DS. His long blond hair fell in front of his face, the shorter strands unable to stay in the hair tie. The roots of his hair had grown longer since the last year and were almost turning him into a brunet like before.

"Kenma! Kenma! We're up, let's go," ushered a classmate. The teen looked up and closed his DS. He stood behind his friend and walked up to the stage like the others.

While waiting for his name in particular to be called, Kenma searched the crowd for a certain someone. His gaze fell on his parents, softly smiling at him. He acknowledged them with a small nod and pursued his search.

Finally, he spotted a handsome, black-haired boy, grinning like an excited child. His hair was spiked up with a fringe covering his right eye. His build was strong and muscular, earning fanning glances from girls nearby. Despite the unwanted attention, the hottie kept his eyes glued to the graduating teenager. Kenma breathed in relief and offered a small smile, which made the boy beam. He held two thumbs up and winked with a heart-stopping smirk.

The school director didn't waste any time and named the students one after the other giving them their certificates. Kenma was called and he scurried forward. He accepted the diploma with a polite bow and returned to the back of the stage.

The ceremony seemed to go on forever, but eventually the students were let loose to celebrate their freedom. Kenma stood against a tree in the school's yard, waiting. He felt a tap on the shoulder and spun around filled with hope.

"Congratulations, Kenma, you're finally free from obligatory school!"

The setter smiled and hugged his boyfriend. "Yeah, I guess," he replied nuzzled against the soft fabric of the shirt. He stood straight and loosened his tie while pulling the hairband out of his hair. He ruffled them quickly letting the strands fall in front of his eyes, just the way he liked it.

"Kenma! There you are! Oh and Tetsurō, you're here too, perfect!" exclaimed the youngster's mother. The tall boy bowed his head respectfully at the parents and greeted them with a warm smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Kozume, what a pleasure."

The dark-haired woman pinched the boy's cheek with a grin. "My, my. It feels like an eternity since I've seen you..."

Kuroo chuckled at the affection and replied, "I feel the same Mrs. Kozume. Spending one year away from home really does something to you. I miss visiting you daily."

The mother laughed warmly. "My dear Tetsurō, it has been lonely without my two boys around..." She turned to her son with a soft and pained look. "Oh Kenma, I missed you so much," she murmured embracing her child, causing him to blush in embarrassment.

"Mom," he whined, "I still see you very often. I even stop by after school and take the last bus for Tokyo."

"I know, but I still miss knowing my baby isn't up there in his room and-"

"Honey you're humiliating him in front of his friend," cut off her husband. Kuroo was biting his lower lip and looking away trying to suppress his laughter. Kenma's mother let go of her son and chuckled. The short boy scoffed staring at the ground.

"Anyway, we're very proud of you son. Your grades this year have been better than ever," praised his father. "I'm assuming Tetsurō's tutoring may have something to do with that right?"

Both volleyball players nodded, Kuroo placing his hand on Kenma's shoulder. "Yes, your son has been working hard all year wanting to prove himself to you," asserted the black-haired boy.

Mr. Kozume patted Kenma on his back and offered a satisfied smile. "Well done." The teenager rested his head against his father's arm. He glanced up to Kuroo, silently asking him to speak. The tall boy nodded and grinned to the younger's parents.

"Since we all miss being together, how about you come for dinner one evening? I'll make sure to invite my own parents," suggested Kuroo with a polite gaze. Both adults looked at each other excitedly. Mrs. Kozume held her arms to her chest and nodded.

"That would be wonderful! How about the second weekend of the spring break? Saturday night?"

Kenma and Kuroo shared a look and nodded. The small boy stepped away from his father and closer to his best friend. He bowed down to them and thanked them. "We'll be waiting for you then. Tonight I won't be stopping by, the volleyball team's organizing a farewell party and it will probably end late," he added keeping his gaze lowered.

"No problem. See you in a week," replied his mother kissing him on the forehead. She laced her arm around her husband's and they left.

The two volleyball players walked to the back of the school to the gym. Inside was the whole team, even old members had come to celebrate. Food was spread on the tables, music was blasting from the speakers and the group of friends hollered with laughter. Everyone ran up to Kuroo to greet him once they noticed him. The ex-captain had come to practices from time to time to make sure his team was playing as it should.

Despite those visits the entire team missed the middle-blocker and were glad to have him around. They joked around with mouths full of potato chips. Lev attacked Kenma from behind and squeezed him tightly. The setter felt the air rush out of his lungs probably followed by his soul as well.

"L...Lev," he choked turning pale. The ace let go of him and looked at him in the eyes sadly.

"Kenma! You're going to leave me! What am I going to do all alone?" cried out the Russian giant. Kenma's expression softened as he regained his breath. They had grown closer during the past year of playing together. The setter grew to really enjoy the underclassman's presence. He patted the tall ace on the back.

"Don't worry, you have many first years who will look up to you. You most definitely won't be alone, Lev," comforted the blond. Lev grinned and embraced Kenma again.

"You're right! I'll show them who's boss!" he exclaimed picking the senior up.

"Lev! Let Kenma go! Can't you see you're choking him you dummy?" shouted a familiar voice. The green-eyed Russian immediately dropped his friend and searched the person calling.

"Morisuke!" he cried out affectionately, leaping onto the short boy. Yaku unfortunately didn't react soon enough and was tackled to the ground. He pushed the middle-blocker off and scowled.

"Lev!" he snarled with a red face. Most teammates tilted their heads trying to guess since when the younger called Yaku by his first name. The oblivious player sat up and placed his hands between his legs.

"Oops, sorry," he chuckled remembering their deal. Yaku stood up irritated and walked over to his friends shortly followed by the whining Russian.

"Hey Kenma, congratulations on graduating," grinned the redhead with a wave. The setter smiled upon seeing his friend after such a long time. Yaku didn't come very often to practice matches to watch or support like Kuroo did. The libero said it was because he wasn't a genius like the ex-captain and actually needed to study. Kuroo had replied he still needed to revise but simply did that late at night, or early in the morning, which Yaku refused to do.

"Thanks Yaku. It's good to see you again," Kenma admitted. Kuroo joined them and used his boyfriend as an armrest.

"Yeah Yaku, you've been really busy lately or what? We never see you at all!" he exclaimed, suppressing a giggle as Kenma pinched his rib trying to make him back off. Yaku was about to answer when Lev burst out.

"Yeah! He's been really busy seeing-"

The poor Russian wasn't able to finish as he was roundhouse-kicked in the back. Yaku glared at him and straightened up, coughing timidly.

"Yeah, uh, sorry about that... Studies and family has really got me locked up in my room," he stuttered throwing a side glance at Lev who was muttering to himself. Kenma nodded in understanding and sparked up a conversation with the libero.

The gym was filled with a good atmosphere, people reuniting, laughing, reminiscing. The old team members learned to know the first years and joked with them, making everyone comfortable. The time flew by too fast. The volleyball players were all disappointed to have to leave, shedding a couple tears at the departure of the seniors. The school grounds were rapidly emptied leaving Kuroo and Kenma walking to the nearest bus station.

The couple marched side by side, bodies pressed against each other. They sat on the bench under a single street light. Kenma pulled out his cellphone and began typing a message. Kuroo peeked over his shoulder curiously.

"Who are you texting?" he asked smiling. The blond shrugged nonchalantly.

"Akaashi. He's graduating today too."

"Oh that's true... Bokuto did mention it once or twice," remarked Kuroo placing his fingers on his chin in recollection. "How is he feeling? I know leaving the team as captain can be harder than for other players."

"I don't really know. I think he was mostly relieved he wouldn't have to babysit the whole team anymore. But also a little sad to leave them on their own," responded Kenma with a yawn. He himself felt a bit glum having to leave Nekoma after all the joyful memories he had constructed there.

Kuroo sensed the younger's dejected mood and wrapped his arm around him. He kissed the top of his head and rested his chin on top of it. Kenma closed his phone and nuzzled in his boyfriend's side. With soothing strokes, the black-haired boy whispered into his lover's ear.

"Don't worry Ken. You may leave a whole world behind you to step into a totally new and unknown one, but that doesn't mean everything is lost or foreign. In this new chapter you will build your future from the ground into something great. You won't be alone either, I'll be by your side just like before. And I'm telling you, I don't intend to leave anytime soon," stated Kuroo lifting Kenma's chin up. "I love you."

"I love you," the setter breathed out, lured in by his partner's luscious lips, pressing his own against Kuroo's. The sound of the bus' engine reminded them of their whereabouts and they reluctantly pulled away. They stepped into the vehicle and sat in seats. Kenma continued his message and Kuroo rested his hand on the blond's lap, closing his eyes to rest shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

Spiced vapor rose from the frying pan and filled the kitchen with its enticing aroma. Kuroo added the meat to the vegetables. A satisfying sizzling sound came from the chicken as he stirred the chunks in the sauce. The kitchen counter was covered with different spices and chopped up ingredients. The dark-haired boy had a passion for cooking and was really good at it. His glance darted from the meat to the boiling rice every once in a while.

That evening, him and Kenma were eating dinner with both their parents. They had cleaned the apartment until it was spotless, threw away any useless things, and placed forward all the things that showed they were living healthily together. Kenma set the plates on the table and laid the utensils meticulously. His heart was throbbing, his guts were in a ball and his mind kept wandering off.

The ticking clock tormented the high school graduate and the setting sun only increased his stressful thoughts. He stood behind the bar separating the kitchen with the dining room. His warm cheek pressed against the cold graphite. The sound and smell of cooking meat helped his breaths slow down. Kuroo turned the stove off and placed a glass cover over the pan, letting the meat and vegetables simmer until their parents arrived.

The spiky-haired boy turned around and saw his boyfriend moping on the bar. He crossed the small kitchen and rested his crossed arms over the dark rock. His fingers twirled in a lock of Kenma's hair and he smiled.

"Your hair will soon become black again. Are you going to dye it blond again?" he remarked laying next to the boy so that their noses were almost touching. Kenma stared at him anxiously and shrugged.

"I don't really know... It'll be weird when they won't be blond anymore but I think I'll keep them black like before," he replied not very sure if his conclusion. Their casual conversation helped Kenma free his mind from his concern. Kuroo pecked his partner's nose and stood up.

"Of course. We can always ask the others what they think in case you're not very sure," reassured the tall boy. "Are you ready? They should be coming soon."

Kenma raised his head and nodded. He trudged out of the living and dining room, locking the bathroom once he entered it. He splashed water on his face and tied the front of his hair back with a hair tie. Sighing deeply, he stared at his reflexion. With a motivating inner monologue the boy was ready. He ignored the tossing and turning of his entire insides and stepped out the bathroom after tugging on his shirt.

Kuroo was waiting in the hall with a supportive smile. He had taken his apron off and changed into a plain white shirt, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows and showing off his athletic forearms. He hugged Kenma, resting his chin on the shorter boy's head.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay," he whispered rubbing his boyfriend's back. The younger sighed and clutched onto Kuroo dearly. He said nothing and hung onto him. They remained that way until the sound of their doorbell pulled them apart. The black-haired boy grinned pinching Kenma's cheek. He went to open the front door as his boyfriend nervously waited in the hall.

Bright smiling faces appeared and laced their arms around Kuroo. Both fathers stood behind their wives with straight faces. All four guests stepped in and kicked their shoes off. Mrs. Kuroo leaped onto Kenma and embraced him dearly.

"Kenma! It's been so long," she declared joyfully. The blond nodded and offered a shy smile. His own mother clasped his face in her hands and deposited a peck on his nose. He scrunched up his face and twitched his nose afterwards.

"Hey sweetie," she murmured lovingly.

"Hey mom," replied Kenma smiling a little wider. He suddenly felt much relieved. His parents were the same as always. They greeted him with love and care. The warm ambiance spreading through their home relaxed him and invited everyone to a cordial conversation.

Each couple sat opposite of each other, the fathers facing one another as well as the mothers. The hosts brought the food from behind the bar onto the dressed table. They served everyone and sat themselves on each end of the dinner table. The apartment filled with loud discussions and laughs. The lively spirit lasted well through the night. Their meal finished, the plates were gathered and placed in the sink.

Kuroo proudly deposited the desserts Kenma and him had prepared. The families delightfully dug into the sweets, humming in appreciation as the treats touched their tongues. Everyone was enjoying themselves and a convivial silence spread through living room, sometimes interrupted by the clanging of metal against the porcelain dishes. The tall volleyball player raised his eyes from his plate and met the unsure gaze of his boyfriend. The small blond looked around anxiously and seemed to plead with his stare.

Coughing a couple times to catch the families' attention, Kuroo waited until all eyes were on him. His breaths became shaky. His smile trembled and twitched. His eyes darted to every face gawking at him. He was unsure. A spilt second spent in Kenma's gaze managed to suppress the nervous antics. They communicated through facial expressions and with an insecure nod the setter confirmed one last time.

Kuroo shook his head blinking, and put up a wide cheerful grin. "Right! Um," he searched his words as the adults stared at him with mirroring smiles. Kenma's mother twirled her fork over her lips as she focused on Kuroo. Her husband laid back on his chair, an arm passing around her shoulders. The boy's own parents softly studied him awaiting his message.

"So... I–...We...have something to say to you..."

A quick peek was shot to Kenma who shrunk in his seat trying as hard as he could to keep his eyes on Kuroo. It was obvious the teenager was fearful but Kenma hadn't noticed it until then. He was so absorbed in his own panic he forgot they were both facing the same thing. His mind cut off anything unrelated to the boy in front of him. He focused on supporting Kuroo so that their secret could finally be shared.

The parents patiently waited for the black-haired boy to continue as their smiles remained on their aged faces. A long breath swept out of Kuroo's mouth. Both he and Kenma knew the hardest part was to say it aloud. They knew as soon as it was said, relief would engulf them. The acceptance would blow away the past anxiety and trouble and all would be good, with nothing changed.

"Kenma and I are...together... And we have been, for...for a year and a half..." confessed the middle blocker.

The dining room fell silent. The adults' expressions stayed frozen. Their smiles slowly turned into a flat line and they gawked at each other. Glances were shot from one another then fell back on their sons.

Kenma inhaled deeply and bit his lip. It was done. The highest peak was reached. All there was now was to tranquilly slide down the mountain. He was persuaded that a pat on the back and a smile would be enough. Then the conversation would continue normally.

However nothing came. The table was still speechless and the tension grew heavier. A perplex aura surrounded all of them. The young teen frowned looking at his hands on his lap. It wasn't supposed to be like that. Where were the "congratulations on finding someone" or the "we're glad you're happy" speeches? After all those years of promised unconditional love, where was it when he needed the most? Year after year, day after day, Kenma's parents reminded him that whether he would become a successful volleyball player, a rich CEO, a brilliant professor, or a salesman, they would always love and support him.

If that was true, why weren't they shouldering him? They told him they would always be proud of him, that they would always protect their only child—the light of their life. So where was the help when he talked to them about the one thing he couldn't choose or change? What was so wrong about loving someone? He quickly began questioning all the promises his parents had ever made him. If they couldn't accept him for having feelings for someone, how could they accept him as a person?

Kenma's mother shifted awkwardly and turned to her son who was seated next to her. She smiled softly and caressed his forehead. Kenma looked up and felt his heart being stabbed. She was smiling, but not the smile he wanted to see. It was a dubious, pained, and unconvincing smile.

"Sweetie... What exactly does he mean by that?" she inquired tilting her head warily. His father glared at him also hoping their son would clear things and laugh it off as a poor joke.

What do you mean "what does he mean by that?" It means precisely what he said! There's nothing to comprehend, nothing to misunderstand. There's just something to accept, shouted Kenma in his mind. All was clear, or so he thought. Hard stares protruded him as they were waiting for a reply. But Kenma had none to give.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sweetie... What exactly does he mean by that?" she inquired tilting her head warily. His father glared at him also hoping their son would clear things and laugh it off as a poor joke.

What do you mean "what does he mean by that?" It means precisely what he said! There's nothing to comprehend, nothing to misunderstand. There's just something to accept, shouted Kenma in his mind. All was clear, or so he thought. Hard stares protruded him as they were waiting for a reply. But Kenma had none to give.

~*~

The tension was unbearable. Kenma was unable to swallow without his throat clogging up. His heart ached and his stomach tightly contracted. His breaths were blocked by rough pulsations vibrating through his chest. His fingers twisted around each other, his sweaty palms slipped over one another. Every pair of eyes were strafing him mercilessly.

Kuroo was just as lost as he was. They hadn't expected their parents would think that something so important to them was only a joke. They began questioning so many of their passions and priorities, wondering if they actually had any value. Their love was something they couldn't help. Something which they had accepted long ago. And they wanted their parents, the most important pillars of their lives, to know and rejoice their feelings. How could they possibly explain that their relationship was not a prank but something as real as their own marriages?

Finally Kuroo's father snapped. He slammed his fist on the table making the cutlery jerk. He faced his son with a raging scowl as the entire table ogled him.

"What does this mean? Why are you silent?" he roared, his eyes squinting until they were barely slits. "Is it true? This isn't a joke then? Tetsurō! Answer me!"

The black-haired teen breathed slowly and remained stood. He gathered up the little of his confidence and bravery, and calmly faced his father.

"No dad. It isn't a joke. We wouldn't take something as serious as this so lightly, and we'd hope you wouldn't either," he replied.

Kenma stared in awe at the boldness his boyfriend showed. His gaze fell onto his mother who immediately whipped her head around. Her face was contorted in disgust and bewilderment. She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, enticing Kenma to explain himself. The frightened boy clenched his fists and straighten his back.

"He's right," piped up the setter. "We are together. We love each other. And we want you to know. You don't have to do anything, we'll continue living as we have been up to now. We just want to have your understanding and support."

His mother closed her eyes and raised both eyebrows in disdain. She shook her head and flicked her hair back. Her husband remained silent with a seething frown. The confirmation of his fears was more than he could handle. He too slammed a hand on the table.

"How is that possible?"

Kenma jolted back. He looked confused and terrified. "How is w-what possible?"

"How are you in love with a boy?" his voice snarled at the words "in love" and "boy".

"I-I don't know... I can't explain love, I don't think anyone can..."

Kuroo's mother fanned herself dramatically. She gazed at her friend accusingly and pointed to the pudding head at the end of the table. "I always knew something was wrong with your son. Letting him play all day long on those mind-controlling games was a poor choice. He was bound to turn bad."

The woman facing her gasped. She pursed her lips and glared. "How dare you! Kenma turned out fine. It's obviously Tetsurō who influenced my son. He probably threatened to hurt Kenma if he didn't go along with his revolting little scheme."

"How do you explain him moving with Tetsurō? And confessing as well?"

"Like I said, your son threatened mine. And there's clearly some Stockholm syndrome going on here!"

The once silent living room burst into arguments and offends. Every parent defended their child accusing the other. They tried to find ways to avoid the fact their sons were "in love". They pushed the thoughts away finding excuses as ridicule as ever. Both concerned boys stared at the fights in horror. They listened to their parents curse at each other and insult them. They were discussed as if they were malfunctioning human beings, their defect consisting of having sentiment.

The shouts and screams were soon blocked out by Kenma's mind. He tried his best to keep the burning tears in the back of his eyes. His head hurt from the verbal assaults. He felt so pained, so betrayed. When he—when they—had decided to open up to their parents, to pour their hearts out, to reveal their cumbersome secret, they had expected to be welcomed with warm and accepting smiles. They had wished for it to be simple. They had only wanted everyone to be happy. Now all they wanted was to go back in time and never speak of it.

Out of the blue, Kenma's mother stood up and grabbed her son by the arm. She hauled him to his feet and dragged him away from the table. "I won't take any of this any longer. We're leaving and taking our son away from your... your... your fag of a child!"

The Kozume family left Kenma and Kuroo's shared apartment against the younger's will. He shot a last glance at Kuroo and whimpered, the tears finally streaming down his face. His boyfriend's face was devastated and appalled. He was so scared for his sake, for his future, for their shared future. Kenma was crushed seeing that broken man slump in his chair, surrounded by his fuming parents. Just before the young blond slipped away in the hallway, Kuroo glanced up and met with Kenma's gaze. He was defeated. He had nothing to say or sign. He stayed limp and followed his partner's leaving figure with an empty stare.

Things were bad. They both knew it. Their situation was grave and seemed hopeless. The ties between themselves and their parents were thin. That simple event had turned their worlds upside down.

The door slammed shut and Kenma was pulled down the stairs to the parking lot. His face was glistening with tear streaks. His eyes were pleading, pleading for mercy, forgiveness, understanding. Anything that would let him be the same with his parents as before. They approached their car and his father unlocked it. He was ordered to sit in the back. He obeyed.

As the engine started the setter feared the car ride. He anticipated the arguments, the accusations, the raised voices. He worried about what they were going to say, what he would have to reply. But there was one thing he dreaded far more than having to explain himself. He apprehended more than anything that the way back home would be spent in utter silence.


	4. Chapter 4

(Warning: self-harm)

~*~

The cherry blossoms had bloomed beautifully. Their soft pink petals swayed in the gentle April breeze. Warm rays of sunshine filtered through the thin, white clouds. The laughter of children filled the streets as they fully took advantage of last few days of spring break they had. Kenma cursed them for being so happy. He cursed the weather for being so joyful. He cursed the world for being so bright while he was so sorrowful. With a swift and sharp movement the young teen slid the curtains shut. Darkness overcame his room. He shuffled back to his bed and wrapped himself in the warmth of his comforter.

His days were spent entirely in his room and more specifically in his bed. He barely ever left his cozy habitat to grab something quick to eat. He avoided his parents at all costs. His father wasn't willing to speak to him anyway. He said he would probably do something he might regret if they tried to talk things out. So for one week Kenma had avoided his father's eyes and presence all together. His mother still wasn't sure what she needed or what she wanted to do. She smiled softly at him but never engaged in a conversation. She was also against the relationship Kenma and Kuroo had claimed to be having, but didn't wish to purposely hurt her son.

So he creeped around the house when they were at work making sure his trail was covered afterwards. Kenma's heart was pained causing his entire body to weaken. Despite the healthy environment outside his home, the brunet managed to catch the start of a cold. His eyes were always red and puffy, his nose always clogged, his throat always sore. But maybe that was due to the incessant crying, and the symptoms weren't ones of the flu, but ones of a broken heart.

Everyday since the nightmare dinner, Kenma thought over his choices. His parents were against his love for Kuroo. That was stated, the matter was closed. The boy took time thinking about that. He tried to understand why it was so bad for him to be in love with his childhood friend. He tempted to put himself in his parents shoes and see why they were so against it. But he couldn't see it. There was nothing wrong in being happy with a certain human being, no matter their sex or gender. He believed the warmth his heart felt around Kuroo, the outbursts of joy coursing through his body as they touched, and the sparks of electricity that set off as their lips locked, were sentiments to be cherished. He believed he had found his special person, so why couldn't he keep him?

A gentle knock on Kenma's door snapped him out of his pondering daze. He peeped out his blanket-burrito and watched his mom's face poke through the small opening.

"Kenma... May I come in?" she whispered, holding the door in front of herself.

The brunet raised and dropped his shoulders from under the covers. His mother stepped in and closed the door behind her. She brought in a platter with a small bowl of fruits and a plate of cookies. She laid them on her son's desk, passing her index over the dusted wood. The cocooned teen sat up on his bed. He was joined by his mom who wrapped an arm around him, pulling him against her chest. She rocked him gently while tenderly stroking his long hair. Between two of her fingers she lifted a strand, twirling it in thought.

"Your hair has grown so long... Only the tips are blond now," she muttered eyeing the dark hair. "Are you going to cut them soon?"

Kenma shrugged, his eyelids gradually drooping. He let himself be engulfed by the motherly love which was irreplaceable and which he had had so little the last few weeks. Things were still tense, he could feel it, but at least his mom was trying.

"I don't really know... Maybe?"

They stayed in each other's arms in silence once more. Kenma loved his mother, he really did. He felt horrible making her worry and upset the way she was. He was sorry for causing her pain, but wasn't sorry for being who he was, or for loving who he loved. He was ready to fight for the person he cared for so dearly. His parents had given him all he had and he was extremely grateful. But now he had found someone else who cherished him, probably more than his own family did. Kenma had felt so put aside his entire childhood he was happy to be someone's number one. His parents told him they loved him but rarely did show it. They bought him all he wanted but never gave him some time. They were good parents, they just weren't present. Kenma wanted his mother to understand that even if he loved Kuroo he would still love them. However he knew if it had been a girl, his parents wouldn't have cared much about the matter, just like everything else in Kenma's life. As long as it didn't bother his parents, they said nothing and didn't get involved.

"Baby... Why do you think you like Tetsurō?" asked Kenma's mom. The teen was confused as to why she would ask that and was hurt.

"Why do I think? I don't think I like him... I know I love him. How do you know you love dad? Well it's the same thing. And I can't clearly explain how I love him because love is complicated and has many forms. All I know is that Kuroo makes me feel happy and loved," he snapped back becoming irritated.

"But we love you dear. And you have a lot of friends who love you as well," she replied patiently.

"It's not the same thing. You and dad are my parents. It's a different kind of love. And the love I get from my friends is another one too. The one I feel with Kuroo is stronger. It's not just wanting to spend time together and have fun, it's wanting to feel the other's presence. It's needing to know how they are, if they're okay, what their thinking about. Is it you? Is it someone else? No matter the answer you want to be with them, help them even if it's to your disadvantage. I want to be able to see Kuroo's smile, I want to be the one to make him smile. I want to feel Kuroo's touch against my cheek. I want to know that he cares for me the way I care for him. I want to give my whole world to him. I want him to always be with me and to be for me." Kenma spilled his heart out with a pang in his chest. Tears welled up in his eyes. He loved Kuroo so much. He couldn't hide it or deny it. He didn't want to.

His mother nodded but didn't understand, or more precisely, didn't want to understand. She stroked the boy's cheek and murmured, "Kenma, how far have you and Tetsurō gone?"

Blood rushed to his face and painted his skin a shade of crimson. The question was very personal and bound to make anyone blush, especially if the question is coming from one's mother. Kenma shied away by separating himself with his mother. His long hair fell in front of his glowing face as he stared at his fingers on his lap.

"What does it matter?" he retorted. After a short moment of reflexion surrounded by the persuading aura of his mom, he confessed very slowly, "We...we kissed. A couple times."

"And did you..." she took a deep breath, "have sex?"

"What? No!" Kenma was already quite red before but now was practically melting from embarrassment. Even though the couple shared a bed, they had never gone all the way. The trails of chaste kisses always ended near the navel. The light, bare caresses lingered around the thighs but never went higher. It was just kissing sessions on the bed in order for Kuroo to mark Kenma as his own with hickeys. But of course, Kenma said none of that to his mom.

"Alright... Well honey, I don't think you should expect to live your entire life with Tetsurō, at least not as a lover."

Those words were sharper than any knife and pierced his chest so brutally. That statement was so hurtful and unexpected it cut off Kenma's breathing.

His mother explained herself, "You know this might just be a phase for him. And you're probably just confused. Tetsurō has been around you ever since you were a child and you haven't spent much time with girls. You're simply unsure of what exactly your feelings are and name the ones you have for Tetsurō, 'love'. It's okay to try and find who you are by testing new things. But I'm just worried you'll get hurt when you realize your ideals might not be the same, or with age and reason, will fall apart."

Irritation and exasperation gnawed at Kenma's fingers. He twitched in vexation. He was angry that after all he had said his mother still thought it wasn't genuine love. He was enraged that him and Kuroo living together wasn't enough to prove each other's commitment to one another. What angered him most was that she was probably right. They were still young after all. Couples are made to break up at some point. There's always something to create a gap between the lovers. Always and end to any feeling, to any happiness.

"Maybe you should get to know some girls of your new classes. Try to find yourself a girlfriend. There's nothing better than creating your own family with someone special," she encouraged, kissing his head. Shortly after, she ruffled his hair and planted a peck on his forehead as she stood up to leave. She whispered I love you to him and stepped out the room, leaving Kenma to his thoughts.

The teen was torn apart. He didn't know what to think. He couldn't help but love his mother and didn't want to cause her any pain. But he couldn't stop feeling what he felt for Kuroo either. Then he remembered the improbability of Kuroo and him lasting as a couple. Kuroo was a handsome boy who was becoming a handsome young man. Girls were always swirling around him and it wasn't before long until he gave in. Blood is thicker than water, as they say. Kenma was afraid that if he went against his parents' will and the situation backfired, he would have no one to turn to. He didn't have much of a choice, his family had to come first.

Even though that seemed to be the logical and most reasonable conclusion, the gamer couldn't help but hurt all over. His heart and head throbbed, and stung, and ached. The tear in his chest grew and grew the more he thought of it all. His mind crashed and burst. His eyes watered. A low, guttural scream passed his trembling lips. The sound was rough but stayed quiet. Kenma was conflicted to a point where he couldn't bare it. He needed a distraction. He needed to focalize the pain somewhere else.

With weak legs and a blurry mind, he stumbled out of his bed. He staggered to his door and stepped foot in the hall. He silently drifted against the wall with his head lowered. Just as he was about to reach the bathroom, he heard his father walk up the stairs. He recognized the heavy and sure footsteps of his gait. For barely a second, he looked up. His gaze met with his father's. He instantly regretted it. Another slicing pain hit his chest as he was stared down at harshly. A single regard and the last of Kenma's hope and self-esteem were shattered.

He rushed inside the tiled room and locked the door behind him. His breaths were rapid and uneven. He wanted to cry and pour out his emotions. He wanted to evade his feelings. Through the ruckus in his head he searched the drawers and cabinets. He needed an escape. He went through his father's shaving kit. He had to get his mind away from things. In a side pocket he found what he was looking for. All he needed was to get away. Between his fingers was a keen, twinkling razor blade. He needed to lose the pain in his heart, and substitute it with another.


	5. Chapter 5

The pollen-scented breeze swept through a family friendly park, rustling the newly grown buds on its way. The playground was covered with crawling toddlers and running kids. Mothers and fathers watched over their children with love and care. The families spent the afternoon in the warm sunlight taking advantage of each other's presence. On an isolated bench beneath bending branches sat Kuroo in the shadow of the foliage. Despite the pleasant weather he had a scarf wrapped around his neck, a cap lowered in front of his face, and sunglasses covering his eyes. He watched the kids run around with melancholy and sadness. He recollected some moments he had spent with his mother and father in a playground such as this one. For one week now he had come to the park and sit alone with his thoughts as only companions.

The middle blocker hadn't contacted Kenma ever since they were separated by force that night. He wanted to ask him if he was okay, he wanted to explain to him that they were going to be alright. However he couldn't manage that. He himself was not alright. He had always valued his parents opinions no matter what. The fact that they were against something for the first time in his life really beat him down. He was even more devastated by the fact that they could not allow him to love someone.

There were so many things he needed to tell his boyfriend—if they even were in a relationship anymore. Kuroo hadn't called or texted Kenma but the younger hadn't either. He was afraid that because of the blowup during the dinner he wouldn't want to be with him anymore. Not only did his parents hate him he was afraid Kenma would too. The one thing he probably couldn't bear would be losing Kenma again. After everything he had done to make it up to the boy after his breakdown, he couldn't let themselves be separated once more.

His feelings were clear to him. He knew what he had to do. He needed to talk things through with his parents, with Kenma's parents, and with Kenma himself. Even though he knew all that, he couldn't bring himself to actually do it. There was something so stressful, so terrifying of confronting the adults who had the most impact in their lives, and tell them what they wanted and what they would do. Kuroo was a captain, he knew how to get around a challenging circumstances, he knew how to surpass a difficulty, but right now, volleyball techniques seemed impossible to apply in his situation.

The faint whisper of his name led his mind back to the lively play area around him. Just as he looked up to where the murmur came from an overjoyed screeched startled him.

"Kuroo, bro!" shouted an all-too-familiar voice. The said boy watched as Bokuto ran toward him to greet him. He quickly tipped his cap over his bruised face before standing up and holding a hand out. It was met with another at full speed. They grasped firmly and waved their arms down, jumping on their left leg and tapping their right foot together, then repeating with the opposite leg. They turned to the side and hip-bumped each other. Their arms tangled around the other's neck as they rubbed their knuckles against one another's scalp. With one last double-sided hand slap and fist bump they chuckled as their handshake was complete.

Kuroo bent down to pick up his hat that had fallen during their reunion. He pressed it back on his wild hair and forced a friendly smile. "Hey Bokuto. What are you two doing here?" he inquired as Akaashi finally caught up with his hyper partner.

"We came to see a museum before school starts again! Akaashi and I aren't in the same universities, even though I begged him to come with me," added the silver-haired boy with a sorrowful pout, "so we have to see each other during weekends or vacation."

The dark-haired setter smiled politely at Kuroo and stuck to Bokuto's side, afraid the boy would fly off somewhere without him.

"And what are you doing here man, with your sneaky sunglasses and your suspicious hat? Watching young children too! What are you, a perv?" joked Bokuto slapping his best friend's back. "And what's with all the cans dude?" he added noticing the lying beer cans under the park bench. Kuroo cringed and a crooked smile crossed his face. He lowered his head and raised the scarf hoping it would cover the reddened skin under his eye.

"Oh no, not at all," he defended. "I just come here to think... I like watching the kids have fun, reminds me of when we were young too. And the cans were there before."

Akaashi and Bokuto observed their friend with caring gazes. The mood was calm and reminiscing. The pretty setter stared back to a couple of boys playing and let out a sigh heavy with nostalgia. Then the perky wing spiker smashed the mood.

"So you are a perv!" he concluded in a guffaw. Akaashi rolled his eyes and Kuroo shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. All three sat down on the bench and chatted shortly. Bokuto babbled so loud a couple parents shot strange glances and some kids scurried further away. For once in a long time, Kuroo felt relieved. It was nice speaking to close friends about silly stuff, just to get your mind off things. His thoughts hopped from random topic to topic along with the funny stories Bokuto managed to find for each and every subject. After a while of discussing, the trio rested back and simply gazed around mindlessly.

A tickling feeling of curiosity pricked his tongue. His fingers twitched in consideration. His right leg hopped nervously as he bent over, looking at his sneakers. Finally he decided to go for it.

"Hey guys..? I have a question..." muttered Kuroo. "It's kind of personal so you don't have to answer if you don't–"

"Shoot."

He raised his head in slight surprise at the sudden response and was met by two supporting gazes. Both his friends looked down to him with soft features and warm smiles. They had obviously sensed that Kuroo was out of it—it was kind of hard to miss actually—and wanted to help him or at least try to. They waited patiently and urged the boy to finish his inquiry.

"Oh, okay... Well, I–uh, you... you recently came out to your parents, right?"

Akaashi immediately understood where their conversation was going and shot a glance toward Bokuto to see if he had as well. He hadn't. The golden-eyed boy grinned widely and nodded at his friend.

"Yup!" he exclaimed. His eyes shone brightly, clearly saying Kuroo could ask them whatever he liked. He genuinely wanted to help the boy and show him that he would always be there for him. Even though he had no clue what Kuroo wanted he was ready to answer anything.

The middle blocker nodded bashfully and pressed his lips together before speaking again. "Okay, right... Uh, well, I just wanted to ask... how–how did it go? I mean, are your parents... okay with it..?"

The couple leaned back to share a glance. They silently agreed and Akaashi went first.

"Well, yes... We told them separately–"

"Yeah, I didn't want my parents insulting Akaashi in case they were angry with it!"

"–and explained the situation calmly. Both my parents were fine with it, my mom even came out saying she was bisexual and had had homoromantic interests when she was younger so..."

"And my parents were totally accepting saying 'I can't believe someone actually likes you' and 'You better take care of them, it might not ever happen again.' I think it was sort of meant to be insulting but I was so happy they approved of our relationship that I didn't bother to care," explained Bokuto with a grin. He looked back to Akaashi lovingly who mirrored his soft gander.

Kuroo breathed out in a light chuckle seeming almost forced. He thought over what they had said and what had happened Kenma and him. A small viper of jealousy slithered up to his mind, clouding his thoughts. Its fangs buried themselves in his brain injecting the displeasing emotion in his brain, letting it spread throughout his entire body. His heart hardened and he bit his tongue. It was foolish, but he was angry—at their happiness, at their luck, and at how they had things so easy compared to him. It enraged Kuroo to think his lover and him had suffered—were still suffering—because their parents were closed-minded, whereas his best friend and his partner, of same sex as well, had the approval and blessing of their parents.

Jealousy is a terrible feeling. You hate the ones you care for and see only the dark side of your situation. You wish them misfortune to make yourself feel better. It's childish, futile, disappointing, petty, but also human. It is a normal human trait, however ludicrous it may be, to envy what other people own which we do not. It makes us act irrationally and sulk over idiotic ideals. But jealousy is also a good motivator, a way for us to set goals for ourselves, a way to force us to keep fighting.

With a sour expression on his pale face Kuroo pushed the negative thoughts away. He obliged himself to think differently. If Bokuto and Akaashi could be together happily, then so could Kenma and him. Even with his new resolution in mind, he wasn't completely ready to face the problem head on. He wanted to get away for just a moment, just enough time for him to relax without having to worry about anything—just a short break from reality, that way he could solve his issues with a new perspective.

Pushing his sleeve up and checking his watch, Bokuto let out a cry of exclamation. He jumped up heaving his boyfriend with him. Kuroo flinched in surprise and looked up. The black and white haired boy cocked an eyebrow up with a smug grin. He held a hand in front of his friend and the other around his lover.

"Time for us to go, bro! It was awesome seeing you again!" he asserted with punch. Kuroo stood up and shook his hand. He was pulled in for a hug and patted Bokuto back.

"Yeah, it was cool."

"You gotta call me more often, I'm dying to spend time with my homie! And if you ever need someone to talk to you know I'm always ready for our gossip sessions," reminded Bokuto puckering his lips and holding his hand in a dainty, but also pretentious, manner.

Kuroo genuinely chuckled and embraced his friend. "Yeah, no problem. I'll call."

The couple left waving back at Kuroo who was left alone near his bench. The streetlights lit up one by one, trailing ahead the bundled lovers who slipped out of the park. The playground was empty. Every family had gone home just as the sun had begun to set. The fallen Sakura petals skipped along the path instead of strollers. The lively park quickly turned into a gloomy space. The middle blocker picked up a beer can amid all the others which were actually his from the beginning. He set off with a hand stuffed in his jeans' pocket.

Casually walking in the park Kuroo noticed a figure lurking near an oak tree. They wore a large, dark hoodie with extremely baggy pants. The person was on their phone so the bright screen lit up their face. The dark-haired boy recognized the man and cautiously went up to him.

"Leo, right?" he asked once two feet away. The said man warily stared back at Kuroo while clearly racking his brain. "It's Kuroo. From Nekoma."

The older boy's features relaxed and he stood straight. "Of course! Kuroo!" He held his hand out and shook hands with the volleyball player. "What are you doing here? Don't you have school?"

"I'm in university, and school doesn't start until tomorrow."

"Graduated high school, already?"

"You know I was only your underclassman of two years..."

"Oh right..." chuckled Leo. Kuroo and him had met before at Nekoma during his first year. They had met on the sports field while practicing for their club activities. Leo was in the soccer team and was very dedicated. Kuroo had always been very sociable and began doing warm ups with the senior. They bonded quickly but fell out once Leo had graduated.

"Anyway, you don't look too good, are you sick?"

Kuroo was surprised at Leo's remark. "Wh-what makes you say that?" he questioned pulling his scarf higher.

"You're in a park alone at night with a can of beer wearing a cap and a scarf, obviously hiding something," replied the man as if everything was explicit. Kuroo wanted to deny it but didn't have a good enough excuse. He held his hands up in defeat with a weak smile.

"Yeah alright, you got me..."

"I knew it," smirked Leo. "So, what's going on in volleyball utopia?"

"Oh, volley's not the problem... Just some personal affairs with my family and all."

"I see, parents can be such a pain. Sometimes I wish I didn't have any."

Kuroo tilted his head frowning in disagreement. He said nothing in order to to leave Leo with his opinion and not contradict him.

"And I like the park. It's different everyday. It allows me to get away from my stressful world," concluded Kuroo. His friend squinted his eyes and grinned. He held a finger up while fumbling through his pockets.

"I have just what you need to leave this crappy world for just a couple hours," asserted Leo smugly. He pulled out a rolled cigarette and held it in the air with pride.

There it is, my escape, mused Kuroo as he stared at the joint deep in thought. The rather shabby-looking tobacco tempted him so much despite its poor allure. He knew the effects of the drug, and knew that they would be perfect for his needs. Even though his conscience begged him to refuse, his hand slowly reached out to the lure. He secured the roll between three fingers and inspected it carefully.

"Have you ever tried some?"

It took a while for Kuroo to reply. He was weighing the pros and the cons of the action he was about to take.

"Huh? Oh, no. I don't smoke," he finally uttered.

"Okay. All you gotta do is take gentle and constant hits, don't inhale aggressively from the start. Let it pass through your lungs then exhale from your mouth," explained Leo while lighting the end without a filter. He waited until there was a nice, red glow and motioned to Kuroo he could go ahead.

The volleyball player pressed the joint between his lips and softly pulled. The smoke filled his mouth and drained down to his lungs. He breathed out and watched the gray cloud wind around in the air. His eyes followed the fading smoke into the dark sky; he hoped his problems could disappear as easily as the drug-induced fog did. His throat didn't sting but rather itched subtly. The feeling didn't bother him for long. Kuroo passed the cigarette back to Leo. They stayed under the tree sharing the joint until only the filter remained. Leo dawdled to a trash bin and threw the end in. Kuroo trailed behind and cast away his beer.

"I was waiting for a couple friends to go to a party," admitted Leo ruffling his hair, "you wanna come? It's just a small house party with drinks and more of these babies." He pulled out a second joint with a persuading smirk.

Kuroo eyed the cigarette, then his friend. He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, I'll follow you."

They headed out of the park and bumped into Leo's friends. The small group walked together through the city until they made it to the hosting house. Music pumped out of the windows. Lights flashed in the sky. It wasn't too grand but had a nice mood. Inside everyone was kind and high, one probably because of the other. Kuroo slipped in among the others and relaxed. He allowed himself to loose his mind to the music and the smoke. Resting on a couch, he sunk deeper and deeper into his hallucinated dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

The University of Tokyo was flooding with students. Spring break had ended and classes started again. So many new young adults scurried on campus trying to find their way. Huge billboards were lined up in front of the main building with many sheets of paper pinned to them. Everyone stood on their toes trying to read what class they were in, where they were on campus. The school was so much bigger than their previous ones; it was mind-blowing. So many types of people reunited to study so many types of subjects. The diversity was incredible.

The first day of class meant a new beginning for the first years. It also was a chance to meet new people, to make new friends. However on that particular day Kenma Kozume was in no mood to make any kind of social contact. He walked past the crowds of clamoring students with his head lowered. He had cut his hair short on the sides and back, and left the front just a little long. They were pushed back behind his ear with a couple dark strands falling in front of his eyes. His hair was completely black once again, contrasting with his golden irises. Since there was no dress code Kenma was finally free to wear what he pleased. Having no great envies he simply wore a large black hoodie with very dark jeans. His schoolbag was black with white rims and was strapped over a shoulder. He wore plain white sneakers which were dirtied after use. Amid all the colored spots on campus he was a single black dot, trailing through the colorful crowd.

*

The first three weeks of university could have gone worse, but they honestly could have gone better too. Kenma hadn't opened his mouth at all during the entire fifteen days of class. He ate alone, walked alone, studied alone, and was alone. He was also referred as the "emo freak" or "goth kid". No one really wanted to talk to him and many eventually forgot about him. Kenma was also the only one wearing black long-sleeved tees and sweaters which made him even stranger. However he refused to wear short sleeves knowing the still fresh slits in his arms would only bring more rumors and accusations in the air. Of course he could try to wear more colors or try to speak, but he wasn't in the mood for bright tones or making knew friends, after all, they might be taken away from him and he would just end up sad and scarred again.

The only thing Kenma wanted to do was to see Kuroo. He was the only person Kenma wanted to talk to, the only person he wanted. Since Kuroo wasn't replying and wasn't online at all, the younger brunet decided to go to his university department across campus to see him. They needed to meet and sort things out. They needed a plan. Even though both were in the same university they had never crossed paths even once. The campus grounds were very big and each faculty building was still quite far apart from each other. Kenma followed the directions plastered on the walls until he found his boyfriend's department. Classes were already over and only a couple students were left in the room. The freshman walked up to the small group nervously.

"Excuse me..."

The students turned around slightly surprised and observed Kenma. They smiled and one walked up to him.

"Hey! Are you new here? Have you lost your way?" asked a brunet with a baseball cap covering his long hair.

Kenma squirmed looking away. "No, I'm not lost. I'm looking for Kuroo Tetsurō, do you know him?"

A girl in the group shot up at the mention of Kuroo's name. "Kuroo! The volleyball player with funny hair right?" Kenma nodded. "Yeah! My friends go crazy about him all the time," she chuckled waving her hand dismissively. Kenma bit the inside of his cheek and stared at his feet. "But no, I haven't seen him. He hasn't come to class these last few weeks. I'm not close to him so I wouldn't know but maybe he's sick or something... I don't think anyone's seen him since spring break... Apparently he was acting really weird lately, at least that's what I heard. Those are just rumors, I have no idea where he is," babbled the girl endlessly. Kenma began losing patience and silenced her with a quick thank you and left the room. He sighed ruffling his hair, making it fall in front of his eyes.

"Wait up!"

The dark-haired boy stopped and turned to see one of the guys from the group run up to him.

"I... I'm a friend of Kuroo's, sort of... We worked on a project once and got along pretty well. Anyway, what I'm saying is, I haven't heard anything from him in a while and even though I message him he doesn't reply. If, if you ever get some news, could you contact me please? I'd like to help him if he needs it. Here's my number." The student pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper and held it out to Kenma. The younger grimaced and turned away in anger.

"It's none of your business. If he wants to talk to you, he will. If he doesn't, he won't," spat Kenma. He didn't like the way that guy was behaving. What did it matter that Kuroo wasn't there, what did it have to do with him? If Kuroo ever needed help, Kenma was the one he needed to go to, not some random guy. He had nothing to do with Kuroo so he should just leave him alone.

"Chill dude," responded the student becoming irritated. "I was just trying to be nice."

"Well you don't have to! Kuroo doesn't need you! Kuroo doesn't need anyone... he doesn't need anyone but me!" cried out Kenma with tears in his eyes. He was filled with rage and frustration. He didn't understand why he was put to the side like this. He wanted to be there for Kuroo, and he wanted Kuroo to be there for him. They were in such a delicate situation, so why wasn't he present? Why was he repeating the same mistake he had a year ago?

A few people stuck their heads into the hallway because of the commotion. Whispers travelled fast and many eyes were on the short-haired boy. He gasped and shrunk in his sweater. He spun around flicking the hood over his head, pulling it down over his face.

"S-sorry... I got carried away," he murmured walking fast out of the building. Once outside the school ground he slammed his head against a bus stop post. He gritted his teeth and sunk his nails in his palms. In just four weeks he felt like he had experienced living in actual hell. Nothing was going right for him. Absolutely everything was wrong and not one thing seemed like it would get better any time soon. Just how were things supposed to well again?

*

The bus hummed loudly and squeaked to a halt. Kenma got off and started walking towards a small complex behind tall apartment buildings. He stood in the parking lot and watched the old lights flicker in the hall. The sun was beginning to set behind the houses. Kenma hesitated to go up. He could see Kuroo's and his door from where he was standing. Was is really alright for him to go up there without warning? Was he still welcome there? Was it even still his home anymore?

Those thoughts depressed the boy even more as he paced the street. Inhaling deeply he tugged on his bag strap. With a certain confidence glowing in his eyes he walked up the creaky stairs and trailed along the hall until he arrived to his doorstep. His hand moved towards the wood but froze just before touching it. He pressed his fingers together and curled them up. He waited hovering over the door. His mind fled leaving him lost and confused. It was so hard for him to knock, but why? He wanted to see Kuroo. He wanted to make sure he was okay. However he was also angry and disappointed. Because of that he didn't know how to react when facing Kuroo.

His hand finally laid on the door, earning a resonating sound. He knocked a few more times. Not a single sound came out of the apartment. Kenma began to worry. If Kuroo wasn't at school for a whole three weeks, and not at their home, then where was he? The knocks became louder and quicker. Kenma tried the handle. He shook it in panic and slammed his palm against the door. He could feel something wasn't normal. He took a step back and scanned the narrow doorstep. An idea flashed through his mind. He bent down and lifted the scratchy doormat. Under it was a spare key, just as it was before. Kenma had protested that they put their spare there but Kuroo didn't listen, to Kenma's advantage in this situation. He rapidly placed the key into the lock. Anxiously turning the handle, the boy burst inside. He closed the door while frantically looking around.

"Kuroo? Kuroo, it's me. Kuroo!"

Kenma didn't bother kicking his shoes off and simply darted through the hall. His steps came to a stop as his eyes scanned the kitchen and dining room. The living room had no sign of Kuroo either. The bathroom door banged against the wall. Kenma began breathing uncontrollably. The only room left was their bedroom. He raced inside it only to find it like the rest of the house: no sign of Kuroo. Kenma's face contorted angrily and his lips quivered in various frowns. Tears strolled down his face and he slumped into the hallway.

"Where are you? Where are you Kuroo?" he shouted pounding the ground. He scurried up and entered the living room. He looked around and saw all the belongings they had shared up to a month ago. Everything was still in place like before, if not a little messier. Kuroo had left Kenma in his daily life. If he still cared about him, why wasn't he reaching out to the boy?

"Why won't you talk to me? Why do you ignore me?" shrilled the dark-haired setter. He tossed a chair aside making it crash against a light stand. The lamp fell to the floor and burst into pieces. That only triggered Kenma more. He grabbed a pillow and threw it at a shelf, knocking everything off it. His anger and frustration boiled dangerously. It was rare for him to get violent, but ever since his and Kuroo's separation, he'd had destructive urges quite often.

"Why are you doing this to me again? Kuroo! You bastard!" he cried out in sobs. Just as he was about to kick into their couch his wrists began stinging. He glared at them then softened his gaze. He wiped his tears from his eyes while staring at his red skin pensively. He scratched the clots of blood until fresh blood seeped out of the wound. The sensation was itching and prickly. It hurt just a little, but was still somehow addicting. Kenma continued scratching until his hand was covered in dark red. Tears welled up blocking his view again. He fell to his knees sobbing again.

"If you can't care enough about me to stay by me during times like these, who else will?" wailed the heartbroken boy while clutching his gushing wound. "Obviously no one else... I should just leave for good." He cried his eyes out for a solid minute as he continued clawing at his cut. The feeling was now much more striking and lured him in even more. His vision caught sight of a shard of glass from the broken lamp lying on the carpet. Between gasps and cries he stretched his fingers out to reach it. Right before he could graze the sharp debris, a soft knock on the door startled him.

"Tetsurō? Is that you? Have you come home?" a warm voice made its way to Kenma's frigid ears. "I'm coming in," announced the person, creaking the door open. Their footsteps weighed on the old planks and announced their arrival. A body and finally a face were associated with the footsteps. It was their next-door neighbor. The old woman gasped in horror. She waddled down to Kenma and pushed his hair off his forehead.

"Kenma! You're back," she murmured, pressing her finger against the boy's cheek to wipe away a rolling tear. "Where have you been? Where is Tetsurō?"

Kenma watched her tender and concerned stare with a detached gaze. He numbly listened to her cooing until he caved in. His body collapsed on her knees and his wails caught in his throat. His entire being was hurting. He didn't know how to deal with it. All he wanted was a soothing medicine, and all it was all along was just genuine love and care.

*

The sweet-scented vapor tickled Kenma's nose and warmed his face. He held a tea cup between his hands, curled up in a blanket. He was sitting at Mrs. Magnolia's table. The kind woman stepped in the room and deposited a plate of cookies on the table. She sat down facing Kenma and poured herself a cup of tea as well. She watched the boy in front of her. He was tired, exhausted even. His eyes were red and stinging from the salty tears and fatigue. His lips were dry and quivering. His injured arm was carefully wrapped in bandages, blood staining the cloths. Kenma looked in poor shape, and felt like so.

"Is your hand alright?" asked the sweet host. Kenma hummed while looking at her. He registered the question and nodded in comprehension. His eyes glided to the covered wound. He shrugged adding a small bobbing of the head. The old lady breathed out placing her cup on the table. "So, tell me... What happened for you to end up hurting yourself like this?"

Kenma was pretty defensive on the subject. He shied away by retreating in his blanket. He avoided her stare for a while until he gave a brief reply. "It's nothing." He was embarrassed about his situation. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to bother the nice woman either. However Magnolia didn't buy it one bit. She chuckled and rested her face on her palms.

"Honey, I saw what state you were in and that was not 'nothing'. Come on, you can talk to me."

"I-It's okay, promise. I don't want to bother you anymore. I'll be fine."

"Sweetie," she chanted stretching the word out, "I have five children and more than ten grandchildren. I know what a child in distress looks like and I am not, ever, leaving them to hurt on their own. I want to help you Kenma, please let me do so."

The brunet gazed at her with sorrow. For once in a long time he felt safe. He wasn't afraid to talk. He looked at Magnolia's loving and inviting stare. His fingers danced on the table top in thought. A little bit of advice couldn't hurt, so he went for it. He explained everything to her from the very beginning. He told her about the fight, the separation, how he was feeling, what he was thinking. He let his heart pour out without a barrier. He couldn't help the small drops forming in his eyes and couldn't stop them from overflowing. The elderly woman listened with great care and attention. She nodded and patted Kenma's hands from time to time. When he was done talking he wiped the tears off his face. His hands reached out to the lukewarm tea, holding the cup to his lips. Magnolia scooted over to hold the child in her arms.

"Kenma... I'm so sorry you have to live through all this in such a critical moment of your life. You're such a sweet person, you and Tetsurō both don't deserve this," she cooed pressing her cheek on Kenma's head.

"Grandmother, what should we do? What should I do?" desperately asked the boy. He received a light caress while the elderly lady pondered.

"That depends... The first thing you need to clear out is what's going on between you and Tetsurō. The only way to face your parents successfully is to face them with assurance. Both of you need to be sure about what you're doing. You need to be certain you want to confront them for Tetsurō, that you want him in your life for as long as possible. Do you want to keep living with Tetsurō, knowing he has flaws, knowing he has hurt you and might do it again—even if involuntary—knowing you are still young and will meet many other people?"

The question was much more difficult than Kenma had expected. He thought he was sure he wanted to live with Kuroo. He thought their love would last forever and ever. He had believed they would be together until their deaths. But now he was doubting it all. He realized Kuroo had disappointed him a couple times, and already hurt him greatly twice. After being with the ace for two years made him learn new facets of Kuroo's personality, facets which left to be desired. He didn't know whether or not he could count on Kuroo anymore. He wasn't sure he would have the support he needed in difficult times. They had already almost fallen out of love once, was it happening again? If so, was it worth it to continue being together?

They were childhood friends. They were never one without the other. They had always had feelings for each other, they had always had a connection. Breaking that now would certainly depress both unimaginably. Kenma knew that deep down he wouldn't be able to live without Kuroo. Even if he tried dating someone else his mind would probably just go straight to the silly-haired man. Maybe to not break the bond completely, they could just remain friends. Like that Kenma wouldn't get hurt again about relationship drama. He could just stay single forever. There was no need to have a romantic relationship as long as he had a friend. Like that, things wouldn't get too personal; they wouldn't be so attached.

But it was different now, Kenma had had a taste of romantic feelings and no longer had platonic feelings... Actually no. Kenma had always had feelings stronger than friendship for Kuroo. Since a very young age they had developed into love. The fact that he was able to display them freely to Kuroo only made them grow, but not change. Reverting to a stage which had never existed would be much too hard. Kenma had to face it: no matter what Kuroo did to him, he couldn't stop loving his best friend. He was extremely jealous when others talked about him, he couldn't help but do everything he could to see Kuroo, he was obsessed with Kuroo. Kenma could obviously not stop the passionate feelings he had for Kuroo. If Kuroo decided he didn't want to be with Kenma anymore, that fighting their parents wasn't worth it, then he was going to accept it. He loved Kuroo so much, he concluded he would do anything to keep Kuroo happy, and like him at least as a friend, at the expense of his own happiness.

"Yes..." muttered Kenma inaudibly. "I want to continue living with Kuroo." His voice gradually got louder. "I want to see Kuroo again. I want to be with him always. I don't care how many times he'll hurt me, I can't stop loving him now or ever," concluded the dark-haired setter, his voice cracking up. Magnolia tightened her embrace and began rocking the boy.

"Good... Now that you know what you want you just need to make Tetsurō understand that."

"But, I haven't had any news of him for more than four weeks! I can't get in touch with him at all... How can I know he wants the same thing as me? He's probably ignoring me because he doesn't want to confront our parents again..."

"Darling, I know for a fact that Tetsurō is head-over-heels for you. Trust me, I can see it in the way he talks about you and looks at you. You should have seen him last year, when you two weren't living together yet. I hadn't met you before but knew you were something quite dear to him. He was in such a pitiful state without you... There is nothing in this world that boy wouldn't do for your pretty face. Just give him some time. Despite what he shows, he's quite sensitive. He loves his parents very much, and just like you he is torn between wanting his parents' approval or at least acceptance, and your love. He needs more time to think, but he'll come around, I'm positive."

Kenma closed his eyes and nuzzled against the old woman's reassuring scent. He let a small sigh of understanding leave his parted lips.

"After both of you speak together you'll have to see your parents again. They need to understand that both of you are two grown up boys and are conscious of what you're doing. They need to realize that they can't control your lives despite how much they want to. You are the one living your life, so live it the way you want to."

"But... My family... I could never leave them. If I ever lose everything they'll be the only ones I have left, and if I upset them, they might never want to see me," argued Kenma with panic. He was so afraid of being left alone, he wouldn't be able to bear it.

"I understand how hard this must be for you to imagine," responded Magnolia petting his hair, "but you have to be aware that cutting ties with them might be a decision you'll have to make. You need to be happy in your shoes, so the choice is only yours. And just because you disagree on one thing doesn't mean you can't have pleasant conversations all together. It doesn't always have to be about you and Tetsurō, it could be about a sports game, a trip to the beach. Your parents will still love you even though they won't approve of one of your life choices. It's okay if things are awkward at first, if both sides try hard then you will be able to act normally like before. Have more faith in your family."

Kenma grumbled morosely but nodded. He now had a more clear idea of what to do. With Kuroo, he was sure they'd put together exactly what they would need to say. Thinking about Kuroo again resurfaced many feelings along with clear droplets which contained his sentiments. He let the feelings pour out onto his cheeks. The hiccups were quieter than before, a little more controlled. His face muscles started to hurt from straining the unnatural facial expression of sadness. The tender old lady let go of the golden-eyed boy to fetch a box of tissues. Kenma smudged his cheeks with the back of his hand, trying to wipe the tears. He accepted the tissue held out to him to blow his nose. The infernal noise of nose-blowing covered a soft "ping" emitting from his cellphone, which he ultimately failed to notice.


	7. Chapter 7

The sun was slowly setting in the sky by eight o'clock. The living room window offered a view on the street as it changed colors. Inside the cozy apartment was Kenma and Magnolia still sitting in the living room. Seeing as it was getting late, the young teen decided he needed to leave, although he most certainly did not want to. He thanked the sweet old woman for everything she had done that afternoon. Magnolia held him to her chest and kissed his head tenderly. Just a few more minutes of warmth and love was all Kenma asked for. If only for a second...

Before heading back home, Kenma went back into his old apartment to at least clean up some of the mess he had made. The place was in a pitiful state indeed. A few furnitures were knocked over and there were the shards of the broken lamp scattered on the floor. As he made his way to the kitchen, he picked up the fallen chairs and the misplaced cushions. He arranged them as best as he could. Once in the kitchenette he opened a cupboard under the sink to pull out a broom and a dustpan. He started sweeping the debris as his eyes kept wandering around the memories which lingered in the apartment. His mind fell back to the times which seemed so far away and so unreal. The setter picked up the dustpan and carried it to the trash can. He dumped the glass in and placed the container and the broom on the counter before heading toward his bedroom.

Mentally and physically exhausted, he slammed his body on the mattress simply laying on his face. Kenma remained in a drowsy state where his thoughts roamed unleashed. The scent pervading from the sheets intoxicated his whole being as he fell back to the days when Kuroo would softly call out his name to wake him up. The soft melody of his deep voice danced in his ears. After each vociferation of his name, he sunk deeper into his dreams.

However he was not able to go very far as a hand on his shoulder pulled him right out. Kenma jumped up in surprise and turned to see who had awoken him. Still under a thin veil of sleep, the young boy was incapable of discerning if what he was seeing was reality or a form of hallucination. In front of him, standing next to the bed, face just as confused as himself, was the object of all Kenma's anger, sadness, hate, mixed with his peace, his happiness, and his love. Both boys stared at each other unsure how to act with another now. Just to clear his doubt, the younger gently stretched out his right arm to barely stroke the cheek of his mirage. His fingers grazed the soft skin. One more time. His palm pressed against the face. Just to double check. His thumb drew circles on the cheekbone as his index and middle finger curled behind the ear. So it really was Kuroo.

The tall boy placed his own hand over Kenma's as if confirming, for the both of them, that their touch was vivid. He softly caressed the hand placed on his cheeks, slowly descending its arm to reach the other's face. They stayed like that for a while longer, hands cupped around each other's cheek, fingers moving across their skin, eyes lost among their emotions.

This was it. The moment Kenma had played in his mind all evening. He was going to tell Kuroo all that he had to say, he was going to show him just how hurt and betrayed he felt yet again, he was going to get angry and say every truth. Afterwards he would ask for explanations and judge if the situation deserved his forgiveness.

However that was the scenario he played in his head, and God knows, those never come to life.

Kenma didn't understand why he couldn't be angry at Kuroo. He tried, he wanted to, he needed to, but neither his mind nor his body would allow him. It frustrated him, but as he gazed into his lover's eyes, he simply lost all strength and will. He caved in whilst clinging onto Kuroo's shirt. The strong volleyball player closed the embraced with a heavy sigh. As little grip as Kenma had, Kuroo had it tenfold. The teenager accepted being squished and melted in the touch.

After a good squeeze Kuroo pushed himself back and held his partner at arms length away.

"Let me look at you," he whispered as his eyes trailed over the face that changed so much over the last few weeks.

While he was being observed Kenma took the time to scrutinize the boy facing him. His eyes were slightly red with tears in the corner, like his own certainly were. His hair was the same mess it always was, maybe the only thing that hadn't changed. He seemed exhausted, almost as if his life had been sucked out of him. His entire visage appeared to be different, it was something in the way he looked at Kenma, the way his eyes had lost their burning light. The way Kuroo gazed at him appeared distressed, worried. His eyes were full of fear and regret. Almost too tired to hope, almost too broken to want.

"Tetsurō."

The boy watched Kenma with no discernible emotion. It was seldom that Kenma would call him by his first name, and he had no idea what to await from it. He simply waited holding his breath.

"I still love you," voiced Kenma, his breath almost losing its way from the back of his throat to the other's ears. His choice of words could seem unusual if not inappropriate, yet, they were the best he could have said. The 'still' was like a hidden promise. As if he was saying, "Despite all we've been through, all I've been put through, I still love you," "No matter how many times you we'll lose sight of each other, we'll find our way back," and also meaning, "I never stopped loving you."

That was when Kenma understood his inability to express his feelings of discontent towards Kuroo. All the emotions he had bottled up had vanished the moment he had seen Kuroo. All that he needed was to know he was safe, no matter what it meant for him. He was just happy to be able to touch the face he had longed for. Whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, Kenma just could not let go of the object of his desire. Even if Kuroo could not change and kept making the same mistakes, the young setter was bound much too deeply to his lover. He was willing to march through anything put in his path, as long as Kuroo was the one waiting for him at the end. Love is a beautiful yet painful thing to experience. Its beauty enchants, bewitches—our eyes are unable to look away from the blooming spectacle. However, for it to grow, it feeds on emotions, energy, life. It extends sometimes farther than we expected, and being blinded by its former beauty, it becomes too late to stop it from piercing one's heart. We let it stretch out its roots and its stems. We allow it to rip apart our organs and our skin. We watch it tear our heart with a dismissive, selfless, helpless, loving gaze. And it hurts, but Lord does it feel good too.

The tall boy seemed to melt at the sound of his partner's words. He brought Kenma's hand to his lips to tenderly kiss his palm and fingers. Staring into the other's golden irises, he murmured, "Thank you."

Once again, an infinity of meanings were held in two simple words. They had never needed many words to voice their feelings.

Both closed the space between their chests and remained tangled in one another's arms. Minutes passed and all they did was... breathe. Soaking in the presence of the other, taking time to think, making sure to remember the touch if it was ever ripped away from them again. Just long, quiet, deep breaths.

Kuroo broke the silence by whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry our parents had to get mad, I'm sorry you had to be alone, I'm sorry I left you again, I'm sorry I keep hurting you."

Kenma remained buried in his chest. "I'm sorry I doubt you every time, I'm sorry I wasn't brave, I'm sorry we can't be happy."

Kuroo slid his hands to his boyfriend's cheeks and tilted his head up. "Who said I wasn't happy? Every day I spend with you is blessed with happiness. Even when we aren't together and that everything goes to shit, I'm happy knowing we'll figure something out together. The only thing killing my happiness is when I think you might get tired of me and will eventually leave me," argued the dark haired teen. "What about you, are you not happy?"

"No, I am," reassured Kenma, "I was just afraid you might not be."

Kuroo nodded in comprehension.

"I was also worried you might leave me one day, realizing I wasn't the one for you. I was afraid I was imagining things and going too far. I thought my feelings were unpaired with yours."

Kuroo watched him silently. He brushed Kenma's hair back. "Did your parents tell you that?" The younger nodded. "I know we tend to value our parents' opinions and we want to abide to their every rule, but sometimes we have to make our own rules and follow our own paths. It's okay to be scared and have doubts. But they can't come from other people's opinions, they have to come from you. Only you and I know what goes on between us. Only you know me how I know you. Therefore only you can judge if I'm the kind of guy to give up on something I desperately want."

The young setter bobbed his head in reflexion. Reassurance washed over him as his invasive thoughts cleared. He looked into his boyfriend's eyes and said with the utmost sincerity, "I tried—I really did—but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine myself in a world where I wasn't with you, or wasn't able to love you the way I do. So for as long as I can, I will make sure we can get a happy life together."

Kuroo smiled tenderly and gently pressed his lips on Kenma's forehead. He let out a sigh mixed with a murmur. They remained a while longer in the embrace, surrounded by silence. Slowly, their grip loosened, and they slid away from each other. Kuroo held his lover's hand in his own, softly drawing circles on them with his thumbs.

With a low rumble, the tall volleyball player spoke out. "Kenma I'm very sorry for what I did," he started, apologizing once more. "I'm not going to make excuses, but I'm still going to tell you what happened over these past few weeks."

Kenma remained silent and somewhat apprehensive. His boyfriend took a deep sigh.

"First of all, I was crushed after that fiasco dinner... I was unable to face my parents and couldn't bring myself to dare think about facing you. A cowardly act, I know... After some time thinking, and some friendly advice and motivation, I knew what I had to do. Before I could talk to you, I had to talk to my parents. So I called them in one night to discuss our relationship and our future. They were... unconvinced, to say the least... After a lot of shouting and arguing, we came to an arrangement. They would stay out of my way if after sessions of counseling and seeing a therapist I still felt 'this way'. They told me I would be 'fixed' and this whole story would be put behind us."

"So you went?" interjected Kenma with concern.

Kuroo nodded. "They made me spend my days from one office to the other trying to 'help me understand myself, and change for the better'. Naturally any contact with my friends could 'distract me from my route of cleansing', so they took away my phone. That's why I wasn't able to contact you, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I understand now..."

"No, it's not okay, but thank you for understanding," smiled Kuroo. "At some point the counselor and my parents realized nothing was changing and decided to take drastic measures. I was enlisted to conversion therapy... which after a while, led to aversion treatments."

Kenma could not dare to ask. But the way he looked at Kuroo said it all. Seeing the pain in his lover's eyes compelled the boy not to say anything. He simply squeezed the hand he was holding while trying to take deep, even breaths.

"After... that... well a month had gone by and my parents weren't getting the results they expected. We reconvened a few days ago about what to do. As they had said, they agreed to let me do what I wanted, however they added they wanted nothing more to do with me..."

"They didn't," gasped Kenma desperately hoping what he said wasn't true.

"I don't really know what exactly they did, but they made it clear I was on my own from now on. After that, I finally had my phone back, and after seeing all your missed calls and worried messages, I got scared again. I took some time to clear my head over at Bokuto's. I couldn't handle the thought of seeing our shared space at that moment. As soon as I felt just a little better, I headed over here to slowly get back to my own life. I was surprised to see you here, especially since I initially thought a burglar had broken in. At first I didn't believe it was you, due to your changed style and my overactive imagination. But then... then you know the rest."

By the end of his story Kuroo was crying. Kenma felt so emotional after hearing such a somber narrative and seeing his boyfriend in such a state. He circled his arms around the tall guy and embraced him tightly while tears flooded his face.

"I'm s—"

Kuroo cut Kenma off by pressing his index over the younger's lips. "Don't be. I'm not sorry for the decision I made. I am happy with my choice, especially since it's you, my happiness. And I'll never be sorry for picking my happiness over any crap anyone could say to me," he said confidently, his beautiful smirk reappearing on his handsome features. What Kuroo had said before about being cowardly seemed like nonsense to Kenma, his lover was definitely the most courageous and brave person to ever walk the earth. Not everyone can give up on some huge part of their life to make place for a new, uncertain thing, and be confident about it nonetheless. It was truly something worth being impressed, and the younger made sure to be inspired by it.

Kenma was happy to see that smug smile again. He kissed it in order to print it on his own lips. The boys wiped their cheeks and brushed the hair out of their faces. Kuroo laid back on the pillows and pulled Kenma with him. He wrapped his heavy arm around the small setter's shoulders. They nuzzled closely and stared at each other.

"Now that I talked to my parents, talked to you, we made up, and confirmed our goals, it's time we discuss things with your parents," stated Kuroo. Kenma was about to respond but the dark haired boy cut him off. "But before we do that, let's get some sleep."

He lowered his voice, "I missed having you in my arms while falling asleep."

Kenma couldn't agree more. He nodded and pecked his boyfriend's chin. They pulled the covers up and wiggled into a comfortable position. Kenma laid on Kuroo's arm which curled over the younger's head. Kuroo was on his back while the setter was on his side, one arm resting on the other's chest. And just like they did so many nights before, they gently drifted off to a blissful slumber. They were in such a state of exhaustion that even sleeping on rocks seemed comfortable, so leaving their jeans on was not much of a bother to them. With most of their worries cleared, they were able to sink into their pillows with ease and finally have a much deserved good night's sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

There are many things in life to be afraid of. For instance, many people are afraid of spiders—tiny little creatures more often harmless than not, but who indeed have an evil aura emancipating from their spindly legs and their thousand eyes. Others are afraid of large bodies of water, or to be exact, the unknown creatures slithering under the surface of such waters. Amongst all these fears are some which are rational, and some which are irrational. The latter would be, for example, the fear of falling off ones chair and dying, whereas a rational fear would be falling off a cliff and dying. In Kenma's case, confronting his parents about his sexuality and life once more, was a rational fear, since his actions would result in cumbersome consequences indeed.

So, in sum, if you were to add up everyone's fears—irrational or not—and multiply them by any number you'd like, that would still not reach the level of horror Kenma was experiencing now.

The young setter was standing on his front porch, facing his front door. Kuroo was beside him with his left hand laid on his right shoulder. They waited a moment in silence as Kenma hesitated to knock. All his fears welled up in the back of his throat, slowly choking him. The closer he stood to the door, the further in his thoughts he sank. You see, the feelings which were prickling his chest would be comparable to the ones you would feel perched at the edge of a cliff, about to fall, and certainly die. In Kenma's mind, any place was better than in front of his parents' house, even the edge of a dangerous cliff.

Yet Kenma knew he had to step forward. Unlike at the edge of a cliff where a step forward would most certainly lead to imminent death, here, a step forward could very much save his life, and improve his wellbeing. Whether there was a safety net or sharp rocks at the bottom of the cliff, Kenma had to try.

He reached out and placed his hand on the door handle. He glanced back at Kuroo who squeezed his shoulder then let go. The older boy nodded with a small, encouraging smile, and slowly stepped off the porch to wait on the sidewalk in front of the house.

Kenma and him had concluded that the former should speak to his parents privately. As much as Kenma wanted Kuroo by his side for this ordeal, he knew it would be easier to reach his parents if it was just the three of them. If he were to talk to them with Kuroo, they might assume again that everything was coming from him alone, and that Kenma was just complying. He was also afraid they might start attacking the middle blocker or simply focus on the wrong thing. Therefore, it was best for Kuroo to wait outside while Kenma took matters into his own hands.

The door was pushed open and Kenma called out, "I'm home," while closing it behind him. He took his shoes off and left them at the entrance. His mother was on the couch typing rapidly on her laptop. When he appeared in the living room she smiled placing the computer beside her.

"There you are Kenma," she said extending her arms. Her son trudged over to give her a hug. "We were wondering where you went. Did you see my messages?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. My phone battery is dead," answered Kenma dismissively. "Is dad home?"

His mother frowned at his reply but said nothing. She picked up her laptop and continued typing. "Yes, I believe he's in the office. Why? Is something wrong?"

"No... Could you just... please wait here, I'll be back," responded Kenma. He crept to the house office and gently knocked on the door. A detached hum indicated he could enter. The setter pushed it open and watched his father flip through stacks of papers and books while his square glasses balanced on the edge of his nose. He was busy therefore did not look up to see who entered, and simply waited for them to state why they came to disturb him.

The young Kozume stared anxiously at the figure drowning in paperwork. It had been a while since he had spoken to his father and since his father had spoken to him—Kenma wasn't even sure he would ever speak to him again. With a little courage and hope, he piped up, "Um, father? Could you–could you please... come to the living room, please?"

His father seemed to have stopped breathing as Kenma had spoken. He looked fixedly at the sheet he was holding, but his eyes showed that he was not reading whatever was on it. It felt like an eternity before either Kenma or his father made a sound. With each grain of time passing was a drop more of anxiety filling the younger's chest. He didn't know if he should turn back and leave, or if he should wait and try again. Finally, the eldest Kozume nodded as he shuffled papers together, never lifting his face or eyes to meet his son's.

A wave of relief washed over Kenma as he quietly exhaled at last. He knew he hadn't convinced his father of anything—the man still hadn't verbally responded to him after all—but the dark haired boy was grateful for his father to have at least acknowledged him. With that, he stepped backwards into the hallway, leaving the door partially open. He went to the living room once more and sat on an armchair to his mother's right. She peered over her screen to observe him briefly before returning to the matters on her computer. They waited in silence, only one person dreading what was to come. When Kenma's father finally came in, his mother looked up perplexed. Her eyes darted from her husband to her son who kept his gaze lowered. The older man quietly sat next to his wife.

Kenma took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind. He had rehearsed his speech countless times, yet as the time came to deliver said speech, his thoughts and words scattered without warning. He glanced up to face his parents and saw they were both staring at him, worried and confused, and blank. The dark haired boy drummed his fingers on his knees as he cleared his voice.

"Um... listen, I want—I'd like to talk about... what happened this spring," he finally breathed out. "At my—at Kuroo's and my place."

Both adults seemed uneasy, almost on the brink of getting up and leaving. Nevertheless, they remained seated, and said nothing. Kenma presumed he was allowed to pursue.

"I guess you were pretty shocked, and rightfully so. It was big news, I guess. Uh now, in hindsight, I realize that we probably shouldn't have told you that way. It probably would have been better, for all of us, but, what is done is done... unfortunately." Kenma paused to see if his parents had anything to say. His mother was gently nibbling the side of her lips, keeping a soft gaze on her son. His father was staring at his joined hands. The young gamer continued.

"But I do want to start over, in a way. I want to tell you again, but privately this time," he swallowed hard and inhaled sharply. "Kuroo and I are in a relationship. And we love each other."

Tears welled up in his eyes and immediately spilled on his cheeks. It was so terrifying, having to say this to his parents once more. It was terrifying, but also gratifying and relieving. Kenma wiped his fearful and joyful tears, trying to avoid having to sniffle the rest of the conversation. His heart beat tremendously as if reminding the setter it was there. Knocking on his ribcage to point out that it had a say in all this, that it also had a voice, that it needed to speak too. Kenma was determined to let his heart out, despite being scared of the consequences, despite having locked his heart up for years.

"I've thought a great deal about this," pursued Kenma, "and tried to figure out what it meant, what I wanted it to mean. I imagined the ways I could– would say this to you, and imagined the ways you would react. But I realized it was no use imagining it, I had to do it for real."

The shy boy was slowly getting a hold on his emotions and thoughts. His ideas piled up one behind the other and came out as sentences. His parents sat in silence. Kenma did all the talking, allowing him to finally let loose his deepest feelings. It was an opportunity for the Kozumes to finally learn something about each other, about the different parts from which they were made of, the characteristics that belonged to them yet did not necessarily define them. For example, Kenma's mother was detail-oriented, very concerned about every single aspect of a project. She cared about how things looked and did her best to make everything perfect, hence her career in interior design. She wanted to inspire perfection when people thought of her and her family. But this perfectionism was perhaps misdirected toward her work rather than toward her family or her son. Due to this, the child was neglected at home, yet was expected to uphold her image of excellency. However, a family cannot appear perfect if the internal bonds are imperfect. But that was something she yet had to understand. She would often nag Kenma so that he would act in the way she deemed correct. This is why when Kenma and Kuroo had announced their situation, she could not accept it—it was not part of the image she had planned to give of herself. In a similar way, her husband put his energy into upholding tradition. To him, what mattered was how things were, and how those things could be kept alive today. He wished to honor the past and the ancestors. Set in his ways, whatever he was not accustomed with was either wrong or not worth his attention. Things could not and would not change, not on his watch. Because of his mindset, it was difficult for him to understand his son. The video games Kenma loved so much were foreign to his father, all his interests and priorities were different from his own, which made it hard for Kenma's father to understand the former. Therefore, learning that his son was with a man, something he was taught was shameful, upset him greatly. He was concerned about his lineage, about the mark it would leave on his family's history. The thought of a Kozume man having a male partner and not creating a decendence was terrible. He simply could not let that happen. And he did not understand why it was happening. To him, his way of life was the only one possible, and any other way had no reason to be.

Because of all this, the Kozume family was twisted apart and superficial. This little discussion was a good start to mend the broken bonds and to dig deeper into their problems. After some time, Kenma's mother pitched in and asked some questions. They talked until everything was put on the table. Eventually, his father said a few words as well. All three made an effort, creating a small connection between them all. As small as the progress was, it was progress nonetheless. And it was heartwarming to think things could get better.

Kenma pursued his monologue, "And so, I don't know if this is a phase. I've never really known if I was gay or not, I never liked any other guys before Tetsuro, and I might never. I just knew I loved Tetsuro and knew he was the person I wanted to be with."

Thinking of Kuroo made him emotional. He looked over to the front door knowing his boyfriend was waiting on the other side. He smiled a little, looking forward to running into his arms and forgetting anything was ever wrong in his life. They would embrace each other and stay enlaced forever, letting the world spin and shake, but remaining still and safe. Kenma glanced back to his parents. They were staring at him patiently, waiting for him to finish his speech. The setter took a deep breath and gathered his remaining thoughts.

"But in any case, I can't hurt myself because people don't like who or how I am, otherwise I would never stop hurting myself. It is not up to you to decide what I do, when, where, how, why I do it; your job is to support and love me, without deciding for me. You already had your lives to live, you already made your choices, let me make mine."

Their conversation lasted a few more minutes. Both sides listed what they expected, what they could compromise, what they could accept to make everyone's lives comfortable and safe. They shared a brief goodbye, acknowledging that Kenma would go back to living with Kuroo. Kenma walked out of there feeling like a new man. Most of his concerns were swept away and he was satisfied with the arrangements they had come up with. It was comforting to know that his family had been open to listening to him. As much as he did not want it to be true, Kenma relied a lot on his family's approval. He did always try to do his best for them, to uphold his mother's ideals and his father's traditions. It meant a lot to him to be a good son. Therefore, making sure his parents still had just a little bit of love for him left was all he needed.

A little bit down the street was Kuroo who was pacing around, earbuds blasting music to soothe his nerves. Once he saw Kenma walking towards him he took them out and put them away. He waited anxiously until his boyfriend came up to him. The shorter man stared into Kuroo's eyes, then clasped his arms around the other's chest, holding him dearly. The middle blocker embraced Kenma and brushed his soft, dark hair. Tears started rolling down Kenma's cheeks and landed on Kuroo's shirt. Each teardrop contained a different emotion. Fear, denial, happiness, frustration, relief, gratitude, anger, love; all of his feelings were transformed into droplets which poured out of his soul. His body felt lighter yet wanted to collapse on the ground, his weight being pulled down. He was completely drained of energy, emotions, and essence. The only thing keeping him up on his feet was the love of his life, Kuroo.

Once Kenma regained a bit of his forces, they started walking to the bus stop. It was late spring and the air was a perfect mix of freshness with warmth. The tree branches nodded as the couple walked past them, as if encouraging them to stand up for their love, to be happy. The sun was already low in the sky, on the verge of turning the city orange. Everything was quiet, the world seemed brand new to Kenma. Arrived at the stop, they sat down on the bench. Both men huddled together, creating a familiar scene. It was just several weeks ago, right after Kenma's graduation. It was before that chaotic dinner, it was when things were still simple. The setter remembered Kuroo's little speech about creating a new future, a new life. Funnily enough, sitting at that bus stop felt like the perfect new beginning. It was the fresh start both lovebirds needed.

Kuroo broke the silence to ask Kenma, "How are you feeling?"

The latter tapped his fingers together while looking across the street. He turned to face his boyfriend. "I'm... alright," he replied. "I feel... neutral, but still happy, I guess."

The spiky-haired man chuckled at that answer. "Well that's good then. I'm glad." Kuroo waited a bit before asking another question which had been on his mind ever since Kenma walked out of his house. "What did they say?"

"They said–they basically said," began the younger, "that I can do what I want, but on their side, they'll need some time to adjust and come to terms, or something like that."

Kuroo nodded. He tightened his grip around the other's shoulders. All was well, or as well as it could get. For that he was grateful. Things had gone better with Kenma's family than with his, and although he was a little envious of that, he was mostly happy that both of them did not have to lose their families because of their love. It would now be easier to continue building their own family.

The bus drove up to the stop and halted, letting both lovers get in. They showed their passes, took a seat, and waited to get on the train and go home. The rest of the afternoon went by slowly, calmly. When they arrived at their apartment, they each took a shower and fell on their shared bed. After a few minutes of relaxing, Kuroo headed toward the kitchen to put together something to eat. Meanwhile, Kenma rested on his back, staring at the ceiling happily. A single ring made Kenma's phone buzz on the nightstand. He reached out to see who had texted him. Once he saw who it was from he sat upright. He crawled off the bed and hurried to the kitchen. Kuroo noticed Kenma's perplexed expression and was about to ask what was wrong, but before he could say anything, the younger explained.

"My father wants me to go back home tomorrow, and meet him once he's done with work," Kenma announced.

Both men stared at each other in confusion and worry. They were confused as to why Kenma's father would want his son to meet up with him, and worried it would be about him coming back on his word. Many thoughts sparked up and some scared them. It was going to be a restless night for both Kenma and Kuroo.


	9. Chapter 9

The first house we grow up in is a sacred place where memories and forgotten feelings find a safe haven in. Walking through the halls, peaking in the rooms, pacing up and down the stairs creates a surge of emotions, which cling onto our skin, crawl up our limbs, and curl up in our chest. Every furniture withholds a memory of a child emptying every drawer, each room recalls friends playing made-up games for hours, the whole household gushes of lives, moments, and special memories. Upon entering his empty childhood home, Kenma felt the weight of all those years pummeling him. His mother and father were at work, and he had been instructed to wait until the latter came home. He was then left alone to wait, simmering in the place he grew up with nothing to distract him from the fear of speaking to his father, save for the images of a time now past.

The night before had been rough, his anxiety had kept him awake for many hours. Kuroo was unable to soothe him, despite feeding him chocolate and warm tea all the while rubbing his back gently. The only thing present in the setter's mind was what his father could possibly want to say, and how that would affect his life moving on. The few moments of sleep Kenma was able to steal away were filled with stress-induced nightmares, creating lifelike scenarios where his father would send him away to a distant temple where he would learn the honorable family traditions, or a scheme where the two young lovers would be forbidden to see each other, and their fates would end in a terrible tragedy of a coupled suicide—Kenma had been reading a lot of Shakespearean tragedies during his seclusion at home in the hopes that the literature would serve its cathartic purposes, which now serve as inspiration for traumatizing chimeras.

Now he was standing in the living room, staring at the couch on which the family of three were sitting just hours ago, discussing Kenma and his life. Watching the scene play out in his head made it seem so far away, as if it had been years since he had stepped foot in his own living room. He detached his eyes from the room and went to the stairs leading to his bedroom. Memories of Kenma and Kuroo racing up the stairs to be the first to reach the room brought a melancholic smile to the gamer's lips. He traced the thin wallpaper with his fingertips, letting them trail behind him as he mounted the stairs. Arrived at the landing in front of his room, he paused, breathing in the smell of his younger self, trapped in sadness and pain. The posters on the wall mimicked plasters on a wound, covering up the ache while putting on a cheerful composure. The multiple types of video games only served as a distraction from the ongoing inner conflict of loving someone you were told not to love, of being someone you were not expected to be. At that moment, Kenma realized how much of himself he had been hiding behind the facade of a detached, unbothered kid, when in fact he cared so much about what others thought to the point where he had to crush himself into almost nothing so that no one could ever reproach him of anything, if there was nothing to comment about.

On his bed was his faithful old Nintendo DS. Kenma sat on his bed and picked up the device. It was out of power so he plugged it in. The screen lit up and made a small sound, immediately sending Kenma to a familiar place of comfort. The game which was inserted was Pokémon White, a game the setter had not played for a very long time. He usually kept his DS at his parents' house while he had his PSP at his and Kuroo's apartment. During his short exile at his parents' place, he did not really use it, only ever sulking in his bed or scrolling through his phone. He must have left the device on his bed a few days ago as he was packing his belongings to head over to his apartment downtown, forgetting to put it away as he left.

The last saved game was launched and Kenma found his persona standing in the Unava region, right by the sea with a Litten loyally standing behind him. Several trainers were walking back and forth, trying to pick a fight with whoever would cross their paths. The shore promised many fun water Pokémon to encounter and possibly catch. However, Kenma could not bring himself to move his character. Him and his Litten—which he obviously named Kuro, due to the resemblance in hair grooming—simply stood in one spot, staring at the open space over the vast blue sea. The thought of seeing his father and having to discuss about sensitive subjects, just the two of them, made the gamer sick. A ball of nerves clogged itself in his throat, keeping his mind fixed on the abhorrer of the moments to come. He could not think of playing the game at the moment, so instead thought about the times when he had so much fun doing so. Kenma remembered the afternoons spent playing with his high school friends, everyone battling as many trainers to see who would win the most awesome prizes. There would be shouting, cheering, groaning, but especially many shared laughters throughout the afternoon. For a moment, he wished he could go back to those days with his high school buddies. He missed seeing them everyday, he missed playing volleyball with them every night, he missed the happy memories he was able to forge.

A soft knock on the door brought Kenma back to the present. His father was standing in the hall, asking if he could come in. The teenager stuttered a response while setting his DS aside. Mr. Kozume seated himself at his son's desk, tapping his fingers on his knees. Kenma kept his head lowered, staring at the floor boards.

After a moment, his father sighed deeply, and spoke, "Kenma, I asked you to come here because I wanted to tell you what I think of what you said yesterday."

Kenma swallowed with difficulty, feeling his stomach twisting into a Gordian knot. He closed his eyes and breathed out slowly. His father continued.

"What you said doesn't make much sense to me. And I don't agree with the idea that men can love other men."

A bullet—no, a cannon—no, no, an entire fleet of missiles landed on Kenma, piercing his heart, ripping apart his lungs, destroying his hope and happiness. Kenma felt decimated. He did not want to hear anymore, he just wanted to leave and cry and never have to see his father again.

"But I also didn't think chocolate and sake were a great pair, and I was wrong about that."

Kenma held his breath. He wiped his eyes but did not dare look up to his father. The man was staring at his own joined hands as he spoke, feeling just as uneasy as his son.

"What I am saying," pursued Mr. Kozume, "is that I'm not used to thinking of my son with another man. I'm not sure I ever will. There is something within me that keeps telling me it is shameful. There is also a part of me that tells me it can't be, otherwise my son would never do it. I don't want you to feel so much pain, and I hope your happiness will be unrelated to my feelings toward your relationship. I just think I don't want to hear about this... union for a very long time. Not until I can accept it."

This conclusion was a bit of a letdown, however Kenma would take whatever he could get, and he was still incredibly grateful toward his father for willing to try getting to a place of comprehension, even if he was not in the perfect place yet. The setter kept his gaze cast downward, not knowing what to do now. Was his father done speaking? Should he get up and leave? Should he wait for his father to leave? Should his father tell him to leave? The discomfort of the situation was cumbersome. Thankfully, his father found a way to make it less so.

"What is that game?" he asked, pointing at the Nintendo DS which was still turned on. Kenma finally raised his gaze to see what his father was talking about. He cleared his throat and rubbed his nose.

"It's um... it's called Pokémon. It's a game where you have to catch as many creatures as possible and uh– train them so they become stronger," replied Kenma in a meek voice.

"Can you show me?"

A small flicker of warmth sparked up in Kenma's chest, as if someone had lit up a match deep down inside of him. It was small, and fragile, yet it promised growth, and compassion. Kenma's father was finally reaching out to him, after eighteen years of distance. Any sign of willingness to change was a positive sign that paved the way to a better connection between both men.

Kenma and his father spent the rest of the hour playing Pokémon together, talking about school, about Kenma's career as a setter, and about light, meaningful subjects a father and son should often talk about. It was a precious moment Kenma knew he would add to his collection of fond memories in his childhood bedroom, cherishing it forever.

*

The apartment smelled of jasmine rice and grilled meat. Kenma closed his eyes as he breathed in the warm scents, letting a hungry smile spread across his cheeks.

"I'm back," he called out, taking his shoes off. As soon as Kuroo heard his boyfriend's voice he dropped his spatula and ran to the front door.

"You're back? How was it? What happened? Are you alright? Do you need something? Come let's sit. Do you want to stay here?" Kuroo looked at Kenma with worry and sympathy in his eyes. The shorter teen took Kuroo's hand and smiled.

"I'm fine," he said kissing Kuroo's cheek. "Let's go to the kitchen, I'm starving and wouldn't mind eating whatever you're preparing."

The two walked to the small kitchen where Kenma sat at the bar counter, watching Kuroo cook in front of him. The setter explained everything that was said, what they had done after their conversation, how he was feeling. At every sentence Kuroo felt more and more relieved. For once in a long time he felt hope for their relationship. There would no longer be any obstacles standing in the way of their happiness together. All they had to do now was grow old together, hand in hand, forever and ever. With all those worries out of the way, he felt ready to tackle any new adventure, gain as much experience from life as he could, and leave the hurtful past where it belonged: in a small room of his mind, locked up forever, and untouchable, but still visible for whenever he would need to remember what made him become the person he is.


	10. Chapter 10

(Warning: suggestive scenes)

~*~

Finally, the summer holidays were within reach. The weather was hot and sticky, the days were long and bright, the clothes got shorter and thinner; it was time to cool off and relax for a few very deserving weeks. Kenma had finished his first exams at university, and was really proud of his results. His boyfriend was probably more excited about his grades than he was himself, which was endearing. They celebrated the occasion nicely with a romantic dinner in central Tokyo, then went to see a national league volleyball tournament. Watching that game fired up their volleyball spirits and they were determined to practice harder than ever during the holidays.

Over the last semester, Kuroo had been working three different jobs, since he had missed a good part of the classes, and he needed to pay for his own expenses. His day job was working as a retailer in a sports store where he could stay in touch with his athletic interests while gaining a new set of experience. Four nights of the week, the middle blocker was a children's volleyball coach, working in a gym in their neighborhood. It was his favorite job of all because of the kids, the volleyball playing, and the memories of himself and his teammates running around just like the young boys he was training. The other remaining nights, Kuroo tutored high school students in various different subjects. All these jobs drained him of energy, but whenever Kenma would check up on him, the former would assure him as much as it was straining, it was a really great experience and he had a lot of fun doing all that he did. Kenma as well had found a small job working as a video game tester for a startup firm in the outskirts of Tokyo. Both him and Kuroo agree it is a dream come true for the young man.

For their holidays, Kuroo managed to convince his aunt and uncle to lend him their beach house again for a week. Thankfully, he was on much greater terms with them than with his parents, and the couple happily gave them the house for as long as the group wanted. Indeed, Kuroo had invited some of his old friends to join them on their seaside vacation. Not everyone was able to make it, but more than enough were part of the party. Akaashi and Bokuto assured their friends they would be there, and Yaku, Yamamoto, Kai and Lev all ecstatically accepted the invitation. And so, the awesome week at the beach was planned.

In order to prepare the house before their guests arrived, Kenma and Kuroo took the train one day prior to the one convened. They had packed their bags, locked their apartment, and traveled to the coastline with high spirits. Upon arrival early in the morning, they started by cleaning the entire old-fashioned house. It took all morning to clean all two floors as well as part of the basement. After a quick lunch break, they brought back home enough groceries for the week, and began setting the different rooms up for the guests. It was a lot of hard work, but the couple had a great time dancing out of rhythm while sweeping the floors, singing karaoke as they unfolded bed sheets, making ridiculous jokes and comments in the midst of putting away things in the kitchen.

Near the end of the day, they walked down to the beach which was below the house, down some large stone stairs. Kenma and Kuroo spread a towel on the sand to have a quiet picnic while watching the sun set. For dinner they had some homemade onigiri Kenma's mom had given them and some noodle salad. As soon as they bit into the rice treats, they swung their heads back in delight.

"Oh my gosh Kenma these are amazing," said Kuroo with his mouth still full of rice and tuna. His partner agreed, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"They're just the right amount of spicy and fresh."

"We really have to thank your mom for giving these to us, she is super talented," pursued Kuroo, finishing his first onigiri. "By the way, how has it been with your mother and father?"

"It's been alright," shrugged Kenma. "As you know, I call my mom every week or so, and we talk a bit stiffly, but it's getting better, I think. But, uh, my father... I haven't talked to my father in two months. Mom says he sends his greetings, but I don't really know where he is in his accepting process."

"He did send you that message about your grades," pointed out the middle blocker as he stuffed his mouth with noodles.

"Oh right, that was very nice of him... I think he'll get there soon."

Kuroo swung his arm over his boyfriend's shoulder, pulling him close to his chest. "I'm sure he will," he said, kissing the top of his soft, black hair. They finished their dinner in pleasant silence then cuddled up against one another to watch the sky and ocean get darker. There were very few people on the beach making the scene seem deserted. Only the seagulls and rushing waves made sound by the shore. The pleasant glow of the sun kept the beach alive even once it had hidden under the deep blue covers of the ocean.

Suddenly a firework shot through the sky and burst into several loud and colorful flashes. Kenma and Kuroo cowered at the sudden explosion. Once they realized what it was, they relaxed. Two more rockets whistled high into the sky then exploded with a great boom of lights. The fireworks were small, there was a family nearby who were lighting them up for a private occasion. The young couple gazed at the sky in content, feeling privileged to be part of this special spectacle. They felt their way to each other's fingers, intertwining them once they met. After a few minutes, no more fireworks were sent into the stars, and the show was over.

"That was really nice," whispered Kuroo, circling his thumb over Kenma's hand. The latter agreed with a nod. "We should buy some too when the guys arrive. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun with them."

"You mean it will be a lot of chaos with them."

"Well, that too, but that's what makes it fun," replied Kuroo, grinning and rubbing his boyfriend's arm enthusiastically. This earned a small smile. Kenma looked at his partner with a tender smile and an amused gaze. He leaned forward and kissed the taller man.

"I love you Kuroo. I'm so happy to have you in my life," voiced Kenma, cupping his lover's face with both his hands. He kissed Kuroo again.

"Hey that's my line," chuckled the middle blocker, pecking his boyfriend's lips softly. "I love you too my sweet little kitten."

Kuroo took Kenma's head, slowly laying it down on the towel while hovering over him. He pressed his lips onto his boyfriend's and laid down next to him. They kept they bodies close, hands grazing the bare skin of the arms, legs, neck, and face. Each caress was soft, loving, and electrifying. A throbbing pulse pushed against the walls of their hearts, making it seem like it was growing, expanding, almost ready to burst out of rhapsody. Kenma's mind was adrift, floating in pleasant and nervous thoughts. He clung his fingers onto Kuroo's T-shirt, moving his lips along with his lover's. His tongue travelled inside Kuroo's mouth, twisting around the other's own tongue. The younger man let his hands trail down his partner's back, landing on his backside and pressing his hips forward so that their crotches would touch.

The tall man stifled a moan. He separated his mouth from Kenma's and brushed some hair out of his red face. "We should go inside–"

"I want to go all the way tonight," interrupted the setter. Kuroo stared at him with wide eyes. His heart lunged in his throat and he lost his breath.

"Real– um, are– uh, are you sure?" he stammered looking at every inch of Kenma's blushing face.

Kenma sat up and took Kuroo's hand in his. "Yes, I am. I think I'm ready."

"Oh, well, uh... then let's– let's go back inside and shower then," he said, picking up the empty bento boxes in a frenzy. His mind was running all over the place and his heart was beating unevenly.

"Oh, we could do it in the shower," suggested Kenma as he carefully lifted the towel from the sand, and jolting it in the air so the sand would fall off.

The dark-haired man's breath hitched. He stuffed things into the beach bag and looked up to his lover. "We can't have sex for the first time in the shower," he said. "It's unpractical and uncomfortable."

"Oh."

Kuroo swung the bag over his shoulders then bent down to take his sandales in his hands. "But we can always make out in the shower as we get clean, and then head to the bed."

"Or on the sink," smiled Kenma as they started walking up the beach. Kuroo's face kept getting brighter.

"No, not good either."

"The floor then."

"No, Kenma stop, I'm getting uncomfortably hard," whispered Kuroo. His boyfriend clung onto his arm, a shy smile adorning his face.

"So am I."

The tall man looked down to see Kenma's beautiful golden eyes. He leaned over and kissed his lips. He grabbed the younger's hand and pulled him faster across the sand. "Come on, let's just go inside."

Both men ran across the beach and up the stairs, hands linked with one another. Their hearts were beating the fastest they had ever done in their lives. Every breath they took seemed to empty them of air instead of filling their lungs. A few missteps made them slip, occasionally halting their dash, but very soon they were back on their feet, excited to pursue their race.

For the rest of the night, Kenma and Kuroo were the only human beings on the planet. Beyond the beach house, there was only emptiness and void, just waiting for their minds to explore together. There were no more worries plaguing their thoughts, no more pains veiling their hearts, all that was left was joy, excitement, and peace. Again, again, and again they would have to face hardships and obstacles, but again, again, and again they would face them together, souls soldered into one, always there for one another. The two lovers knew this as the night went on. Having such a wonderful connection with someone was a beautiful bond to cherish, and knowing they had found the perfect partner for each other was such a release of ecstatic emotions. Until the end of time they would be together, loving each other, and happy forever. There was never a moment where their futures had seemed any clearer.

☆*:.｡. The End .｡.:*☆

* * * *

A huge thank you to everyone who has read this story until the end. It is now officially the end, and there shall be no prequel or bonus chapter! Finally we can all move on to greater stories and adventures. I wish everyone all the best and offer you my humble thanks. Bye~!


End file.
